Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize