know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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