Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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