It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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