Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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