be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
