GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We have started to decorate penises.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
