he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
