North Korea, Best Korea!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your shirt... Was in my pants
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
