I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's even glitter on my cock...
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