Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize