Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
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You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize