They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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