a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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