Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
