Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
