I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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