I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize