David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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