When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
