I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
3pm strippers are depressing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
