I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
