I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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