Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
