walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
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What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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