its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
