please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
