no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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