i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.