Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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(267): Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome. http://tfl.nu/u178

Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (764)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.

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(815): Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single. http://tfl.nu/sipf

Replies (46) Good night (902) Bad night (4158)
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(360): View more from Washington

there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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(360): there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am http://tfl.nu/on84

Replies (26) Good night (5944) Bad night (960)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

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(803): I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15 http://tfl.nu/mt2n

Replies (33) Good night (7684) Bad night (825)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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(803): so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal. http://tfl.nu/ov2w

Replies (61) Good night (1023) Bad night (6663)
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(631): View more from New York

we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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(631): we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars, http://tfl.nu/j4u2

Replies (14) Good night (5195) Bad night (907)
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(386): View more from Florida

smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.

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(386): smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina. http://tfl.nu/3vsv

Replies (79) Good night (2681) Bad night (8302)
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(830): View more from Texas

What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple

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(830): What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple http://tfl.nu/5qs4

Replies (9) Good night (4093) Bad night (1039)
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(707): View more from California

She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

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(707): She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love. http://tfl.nu/is4u

Replies (17) Good night (4800) Bad night (1060)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won

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(570): not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won http://tfl.nu/hlfr

Replies (3) Good night (1877) Bad night (772)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

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(336): Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/9t3g

Replies (12) Good night (2342) Bad night (1139)
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(224): View more from Illinois

We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?

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(224): We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today? http://tfl.nu/c57g

Replies (16) Good night (1716) Bad night (596)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.

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(412): I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/cumu

Replies (8) Good night (1857) Bad night (550)
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(248): View more from Michigan

They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.

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(248): They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror. http://tfl.nu/3vjx

Replies (2) Good night (1261) Bad night (486)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening

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(501): When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening http://tfl.nu/gsvb

Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (550)

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