ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
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S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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