Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.

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  (514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. http://tfl.nu/cmn8
  Replies (6) Good night (2636) Bad night (679)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher

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  (507):Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher http://tfl.nu/a6cj
  Replies (32) Good night (810) Bad night (2401)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings

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  (603): A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings http://tfl.nu/n8bz
  Replies (24) Good night (4180) Bad night (692)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.

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  (586): Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/5bcj
  Replies (14) Good night (4859) Bad night (2183)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4394) Bad night (960)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.

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  (403): Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl. http://tfl.nu/u7lt
  Replies (22) Good night (4431) Bad night (1474)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Green mimosas i think yes

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  (502): Green mimosas i think yes http://tfl.nu/w98u
  Replies (4) Good night (1539) Bad night (960)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer

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  (519): I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer http://tfl.nu/z4my
  Replies (4) Good night (1218) Bad night (1646)
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  (845): View more from New York

  That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...

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  (845): That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot... http://tfl.nu/l2p1
  Replies (3) Good night (2174) Bad night (712)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes

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  (406): i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes http://tfl.nu/smno
  Replies (3) Good night (1800) Bad night (715)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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  (907): I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year. (907): I'm going to miss going to the strip club though. http://tfl.nu/ub9e
  Replies (2) Good night (1012) Bad night (586)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.

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  (979): It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people. http://tfl.nu/1jp1
  Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (575)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs

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  (816): Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs http://tfl.nu/jmh5
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (690)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  My penis needs a shock collar

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  (309): My penis needs a shock collar http://tfl.nu/qzdc
  Replies (8) Good night (584) Bad night (324)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.

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  (715): My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick. http://tfl.nu/97n3
  Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (311)

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