Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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  (412): Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it! http://tfl.nu/we6e
  Replies (24) Good night (4279) Bad night (1010)
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  (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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  (925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt
  Replies (30) Good night (937) Bad night (2085)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be

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  (+61): i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be http://tfl.nu/xlfe
  Replies (29) Good night (3133) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?

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  (317): So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road? http://tfl.nu/ir52
  Replies (23) Good night (10128) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?

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  (512): Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend? http://tfl.nu/hvyw
  Replies (11) Good night (5280) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.

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  (918): I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka. http://tfl.nu/0tbw
  Replies (4) Good night (2716) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint

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  (914): I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint http://tfl.nu/yez0
  Replies (10) Good night (842) Bad night (1817)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra

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  (260): I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra http://tfl.nu/100u
  Replies (7) Good night (1347) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy

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  (407): All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy http://tfl.nu/k1j3
  Replies (4) Good night (921) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.

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  (405): I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society. http://tfl.nu/cbw1
  Replies (19) Good night (828) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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  (319): If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine. http://tfl.nu/56iw
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee

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  (770): How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night? (678): 4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee http://tfl.nu/1zan
  Replies (7) Good night (1173) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm in love.

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  (630): She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot. (630): I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/l0w2
  Replies (3) Good night (1532) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.

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  (505): Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible. http://tfl.nu/eufu
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace

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  (469): I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace http://tfl.nu/grfb
  Replies (1) Good night (191) Bad night (329)

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