Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?

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  (585): Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF? http://tfl.nu/wdl8
  Replies (59) Good night (4036) Bad night (807)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I really should sober up and deal with this hangover

  (941): View more from Florida

  It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though

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  (941): I really should sober up and deal with this hangover (941): It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though http://tfl.nu/cygd
  Replies (5) Good night (2177) Bad night (988)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples

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  (+41): I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples http://tfl.nu/80un
  Replies (16) Good night (1188) Bad night (5210)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

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  (720): When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail. http://tfl.nu/a5d0
  Replies (13) Good night (1101) Bad night (4245)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

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  (571): What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song? http://tfl.nu/zr38
  Replies (26) Good night (3351) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  death...100% death...what r u planning.

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  (269): Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip? (313): death...100% death...what r u planning. http://tfl.nu/azwl
  Replies (9) Good night (1432) Bad night (1893)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.

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  (717): Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea. (717): OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED. http://tfl.nu/n4s9
  Replies (7) Good night (3443) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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  (312): Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that. http://tfl.nu/azva
  Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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  (248): I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer http://tfl.nu/yuzp
  Replies (3) Good night (1196) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

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  (323): I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there? http://tfl.nu/203x
  Replies (7) Good night (534) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  In other news, I just burned my penis

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  (315): In other news, I just burned my penis http://tfl.nu/q4ky
  Replies (8) Good night (393) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman

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  (+44): Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman http://tfl.nu/09hv
  Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Daily.

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  (702): Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision (970): Daily. http://tfl.nu/0fgj
  Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink

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  (307): We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink http://tfl.nu/q4ce
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.

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  (703): All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it. http://tfl.nu/mbv5
  Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (315)

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