Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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