Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He better not be in your backpack
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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