apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
