All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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