Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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