i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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