I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
