He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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