Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
