Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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