im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
