this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Your cock deserves a montage
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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