Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
