He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I touched a dick in church today
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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