Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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