my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
