he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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