Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
