It's like God shit irony all over that family
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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