You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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