I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.