he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!