I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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