Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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