real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
