Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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