I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
