i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
