You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
