Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
