So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
